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Welcome to Holistic Divorce Counseling

Holistic Psychotherapist Nicole S. Urdang, MS, NCC, DHM, LMHC.

The purpose of Holistic Divorce Counseling is to provide support, resources, and comfort for all life’s issues and transitions, not just the cosmic hazing of divorce.

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How bad does a relationship have to be for you to leave it?

By Nicole Urdang | March 20, 2023
Posted in Relationships

Have you ever looked at your relationships and wondered how much unpleasantness you’re willing to withstand to stay in a marriage or friendship? Everyone has a different internal gauge for how much discomfort or misery they are willing to endure. This internal tipping point is based on their childhood and their own emotional constitution. While […]

Be Aware, But Don’t Always Share

By Nicole Urdang | March 4, 2023
Posted in Relationships

I have never met a therapist who didn’t think awareness was a good thing, even if in the short run it was painful.  Often, because we are connected to other people, we may become aware of something, past or present, that disturbs us. A first impulse might be to immediately share it with the other […]

Happy or depressed? Are those your only options?

By Nicole Urdang | December 31, 2022
Posted in Depression

If you live in America, the land of quick fixes, you could easily believe that there are really only two feelings: happy or depressed. Thankfully, nothing could be further from the truth. If you think about it you will quickly realize that there are actually a variety of possible feelings between depressed and happy. The […]

When Focusing On The Breath Doesn’t Help, Try This

By Nicole Urdang | November 17, 2022
Posted in Meditation, Somatic Therapies

  While meditation can be incredibly soothing and peaceful, many people, especially those with a trauma history, find focusing on the breath triggering. Often, this activates memories of stressful times and can feel even more disturbing. If that is your experience, even if it’s only your experience some of the time when meditating, there are […]

You can’t re-parent yourself but you can parent yourself.

By Nicole Urdang | November 12, 2022
Posted in Abandonment, Inner work, Trauma

You can’t re-parent yourself, but you can parent yourself While there is much talk in therapy circles about reparenting yourself, that ship has sailed. You can’t re-parent yourself. It’s impossible to go back into your childhood and give that younger you what they truly wanted. The good news is, you can parent yourself until the […]

Detach from what causes you pain and attach to what brings you joy.

By Nicole Urdang | October 4, 2022
Posted in Inner work, Life enhancers, Self-compassion

Detaching from what causes you pain and attaching to what brings you joy sounds incredibly straightforward and almost absurd to write about, yet for most people it can be amazingly difficult. First of all, one must do a fairly fearless inventory to discern what actually brings you joy in the first place and what engenders […]

Five things that fuel feeling overwhelmed. 

By Nicole Urdang | August 25, 2022
Posted in Overwhelm, Stress

Almost everyone feels overwhelmed sometimes. All it takes is a few extra stresses on top of our normal responsibilities and it’s easy to get tense, reactive, and overwhelmed. Since we can’t control all the variables in our life, the best thing we can do is not fuel the flames when we feel burdened, emotionally raw, […]

How To Improve Your Relationships By Asking Good Questions.

By Nicole Urdang | July 27, 2022
Posted in Life enhancers, Relationships

If you want to improve your relationships learn to ask good questions. Frankly, if you want to improve your life learn to ask good questions. While research shows that we get a hit of dopamine every time we talk about ourselves, there are hidden benefits to learning more about others. Not the least of which […]

What’s the difference between acceptance and letting go? 

By Nicole Urdang | May 31, 2022
Posted in Life enhancers, Personal evolution, Relationships

While both acceptance and letting go are verbs, there is a qualitative difference between them. Acceptance feels more like allowing or surrendering, and letting go seems to be a more active process. Depending on your history and personality, one may seem easier than the other. It’s interesting to play with your reactions to these different […]

Antidotes for five words that create stress and ruin relationships.

By Nicole Urdang | May 6, 2022
Posted in Inner work, Relationships, Trauma

Many years ago, when I studied with Dr. Albert Ellis, I learned the five words that create stress, dissatisfaction, and ruined relationships. They are: NEED, MUST, SHOULDN’T, SHOULD and CAN’T. These five words are like mental handcuffs. They keep you from feeling free, creatively exploring life, and, most of all, living with self-compassion. They create […]

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Nicole Urdang

Nicole UrdangNicole S. Urdang, M.S., NCC, DHM is a Holistic Psychotherapist in Buffalo, NY. She holds a New York state license in mental health counseling and a doctorate in homeopathic medicine from the British Institute of Homeopathy.

As an Associate Fellow at the Albert Ellis Institute Nicole trained with the founder of Rational-Emotive Behavior Therapy for over 25 years.

Nicole has studied psychology, philosophy, yoga, nutrition, clinical hypnosis, journaling, dream analysis, Cognitive-Behavior Therapy, Gestalt Therapy, Sexuality and Gender Issues at the Kinsey Institute, Inner Child work, Internal Family Systems, Bach Flower Essences, herbs, Tapping (EFT), homeopathy, meditation, Sanskrit mantras, and yogic breath work all of which inform her holistic approach to mind-body issues.

In the early 1980s she created and hosted one of the country’s first call-in radio counseling shows on WKBW.

If you live outside the greater Buffalo-Niagara area and would like to speak with Nicole, you can schedule a phone session. Contact information is available on goodtherapy.org or just call 716-882-0848.

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