Welcome to Holistic Divorce Counseling
Holistic Psychotherapist Nicole S. Urdang, MS, NCC, DHM, LMHC.
The purpose of Holistic Divorce Counseling is to provide support, resources, and comfort for all life’s issues and transitions, not just the cosmic hazing of divorce.
Many years ago, when I studied with Dr. Albert Ellis, I learned the five words that create stress, dissatisfaction, and ruined relationships. They are: NEED, MUST, SHOULDN’T, SHOULD and CAN’T. These five words are like mental handcuffs. They keep you from feeling free, creatively exploring life, and, most of all, living with self-compassion. They create […]
Believe it or not, self-pity can be the first step toward self-compassion. Most of us learned that self-pity was to be avoided at all costs. It was narcissistic, self indulgent, and shameful. Clearly, anyone worth their salt would not wallow in self-pity and, if they did, they would never admit it. Recently, I’ve been reframing the […]
Neuroscientist Dr. Karolien Notebaert has a wonderful talk on the Insight Timer app that beautifully describes the difference between the default mode network (DMN) and the direct experience network (DEN). You can find it here: https://insig.ht/tz48w6Rowob. In short, the default mode network shows up when the brain is not engaged in a task. It roams through […]
We are born helpless and incapable of living without other people’s assistance. We depend on caretakers, usually parents, to take care of us so that we can develop into adults able to live interdependently with others. This is just a fact. And from what we know of history, it’s been true since time immemorial. As […]
So often, people say: It goes without saying. It’s usually used when someone is saying something kind, complimentary or loving. What a crazy notion, that saying something beautiful and supportive could be unnecessary. What a shame that phrase even exists. What could go without saying are so many of the negative things we utter or […]
In a yoga-inspired course on the chakras, teacher Davidji said of the fourth, or throat, chakra: “Throughout the day when you find yourself making compromises out of fear, out of playing small, out of not believing in yourself, remind yourself that the vibration ‘hum’ is the vibration of permission. Whether you say it silently or […]
Compassionate curiosity is the magic combination of self-compassion and curiosity. What makes it magical is its ability to help you embrace internal and external challenges with an open heart and mind. Typically, when something difficult appears, whether it’s internal, like obsessive thoughts, a physical ailment, or an emotional state; or external, like a financial setback, […]
You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em. Kenny Rogers A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. Ralph Waldo Emerson Historically, therapists and clergy have extolled the virtues of working through relationship difficulties. While it’s optimistic and great to think you can work through most […]
What do OCD, addiction and self-discipline have in common? They all involve some form of repetition compulsion. At first glance, it looks as if self-discipline involves using self-control to benefit oneself while addictions and other OCD behaviors look as if someone is out of control. But, as you will see, the essence of all three […]
When it comes to healing childhood trauma or any other psychological issue that creates disequilibrium, like anxiety, anger issues, or depression, the recommendation has always been to learn how to self regulate. This is still a crucial part of shoring up one’s resilience and ability to handle life’s challenges. But it is not the only […]
Nicole S. Urdang, M.S., NCC, DHM is a Holistic Psychotherapist in Buffalo, NY. She holds a New York state license in mental health counseling and a doctorate in homeopathic medicine from the British Institute of Homeopathy.
As an Associate Fellow at the Albert Ellis Institute Nicole trained with the founder of Rational-Emotive Behavior Therapy for over 25 years.
Nicole has studied psychology, philosophy, yoga, nutrition, clinical hypnosis, journaling, dream analysis, Cognitive-Behavior Therapy, Gestalt Therapy, Sexuality and Gender Issues at the Kinsey Institute, Inner Child work, Internal Family Systems, Bach Flower Essences, herbs, Tapping (EFT), homeopathy, meditation, Sanskrit mantras, and yogic breath work all of which inform her holistic approach to mind-body issues.
In the early 1980s she created and hosted one of the country’s first call-in radio counseling shows on WKBW.
If you live outside the greater Buffalo-Niagara area and would like to speak with Nicole, you can schedule a phone session. Contact information is available on goodtherapy.org or just call 716-882-0848.