How could you possibly think you’re not enough?

By Nicole Urdang | May 2, 2024
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How could you possibly think you’re not enough?  Do you tell yourself you’re not: Attractive enough Smart enough Fit enough Rich enough Popular enough Successful enough Respected enough Interesting enough Funny enough Positive enough Good enough to be liked, loved, appreciated, and respected? You are a flesh and blood, breathing human being. How could that […]

Why you continue to reach for an empty glass to quench your emotional thirst.

By Nicole Urdang | September 1, 2023
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  When it comes to relationships, it’s all too easy to keep reaching for the same empty glass to quench one’s thirst—the primal thirst for relationships that offer understanding, connection, support, and comfort. This manifests in continuing to seek, from those incapable of giving it to you, the emotional succor you crave. It’s a fool’s […]

You can’t re-parent yourself but you can parent yourself.

By Nicole Urdang | November 12, 2022
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You can’t re-parent yourself, but you can parent yourself While there is much talk in therapy circles about reparenting yourself, that ship has sailed. You can’t re-parent yourself. It’s impossible to go back into your childhood and give that younger you what they truly wanted. The good news is, you can parent yourself until the […]

Healing From Attachment Issues

By Nicole Urdang | February 11, 2020
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If you didn’t have a predictable, loving, nurturing, protective adult presence in your life as an infant or child you are likely to search for it the rest of your days. Luckily, the answer lies within. The more you rely on yourself to give you what you didn’t get the more you can reliably get […]

How Abandonment Issues Affect Intimate Relationships

By Nicole Urdang | August 25, 2015
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“Finally, I decide I am my own case history, and if I don’t dig in to understand what I am doing, I will be spending the years ahead in a vexing pattern of intimacy and abandonment.” Dominique Browning in “Slow Love” Dig in is right. Dig in and root around is even more accurate. Of […]

Effects of Abandonment on Adult Relationships: Ambivalence and Attachment Issues

By Nicole Urdang | August 11, 2014
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There must be something in the human brain that makes it enjoy playing with different, often opposite, ideas simultaneously. Ambivalence is incredibly helpful when we are brainstorming or problem-solving, less so when assessing the value of relationships. Fortunately, this natural proclivity to complicate our lives is beneficial. Unfortunately, it can also be time consuming and […]