When it comes to relationships, it’s all too easy to keep reaching for the same empty glass to quench one’s thirst—the primal thirst for relationships that offer understanding, connection, support, and comfort. This manifests in continuing to seek, from those incapable of giving it to you, the emotional succor you crave. It’s a fool’s […]
You can’t re-parent yourself, but you can parent yourself While there is much talk in therapy circles about reparenting yourself, that ship has sailed. You can’t re-parent yourself. It’s impossible to go back into your childhood and give that younger you what they truly wanted. The good news is, you can parent yourself until the […]
If you didn’t have a predictable, loving, nurturing, protective adult presence in your life as an infant or child you are likely to search for it the rest of your days. Luckily, the answer lies within. The more you rely on yourself to give you what you didn’t get the more you can reliably get […]
“Finally, I decide I am my own case history, and if I don’t dig in to understand what I am doing, I will be spending the years ahead in a vexing pattern of intimacy and abandonment.” Dominique Browning in “Slow Love” Dig in is right. Dig in and root around is even more accurate. Of […]
There must be something in the human brain that makes it enjoy playing with different, often opposite, ideas simultaneously. Ambivalence is incredibly helpful when we are brainstorming or problem-solving, less so when assessing the value of relationships. Fortunately, this natural proclivity to complicate our lives is beneficial. Unfortunately, it can also be time consuming and […]
If you felt abandoned as a child, if you feel abandoned now, the key to reclaiming your wholeness is to commit to being there for yourself in a loving, compassionate way right this minute. Of course, that can be highly challenging, as old habits die hard. Feelings of isolation and worthlessness may have become familiar […]