Family Secrets: How to Overcome their Toxic Legacy 

By Nicole Urdang | December 14, 2015
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Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets. Paul Tournier We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the secret sits in the middle and knows. Robert Frost, The Secret Sits In families where there is addiction, abuse, criminal behavior, or mental illness, there is usually a code of silence that dictates the actions […]

Addiction Recovery: Techniques for Staying Sober

By Nicole Urdang | April 9, 2013
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All addictions, like all obsessive-compulsive disorders, serve one purpose: To push unpleasant feelings out of your conscious awareness. It makes no difference if you are addicted to alcohol, shopping, pornography, pain killers, pot, food, cocaine, gambling, or anything else, the key to recovery is finding peace. Peace from incessant thoughts urging you to obsessively repeat […]

We’re All In Recovery, So Welcome To The Club

By Nicole Urdang | July 26, 2010
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Whether it was a parent, teacher, grandparent, uncle, aunt, friend, boss, sister, brother, classmate, or co-worker, at some point, everyone has been affected by damaging remarks, criticism, physical abuse, harassment, or sexual abuse. You may think it extreme to say that we are all in recovery, but you don’t have to be a mathematician to […]

Addiction: What To Do If You Love An Addict

By Nicole Urdang | April 4, 2009
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Realism is a crucial concept when it comes to recovery from addiction.  AA understands this so well that when someone slips (resumes their addictive behavior) they assume the best; namely, that he or she will get back in the saddle and regain their sobriety. All addictions are the same, in that they are obsessive-compulsive disorders. […]

Fake It ‘Til You Make It

By Nicole Urdang | January 11, 2009
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  There are many jewels in the AA program.  One of my favorites is : Fake it ’til you make it.  Contrary to what you might think, this doesn’t mean you are being phony.  It is simply practicing a new way of thinking, or a new behavior, in the hope that it will become second […]

Addiction and Divorce, What Helps?

By Nicole Urdang | October 6, 2008
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We are a society of addicts.  Alcohol, drugs, gambling, shopping, TV, food, iPhones, music, pornography, exercise…you name it and we can find a way to abuse it.   Why the rampant epidemic of OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder)?  To dull our pain.  All addictions achieve the same goal: they push those things we find threatening out of our […]