Self-compassion

Detach from what causes you pain and attach to what brings you joy.

By Nicole Urdang | October 4, 2022
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Detaching from what causes you pain and attaching to what brings you joy sounds incredibly straightforward and almost absurd to write about, yet for most people it can be amazingly difficult. First of all, one must do a fairly fearless inventory to discern what actually brings you joy in the first place and what engenders […]

How self-pity can be the first step toward self-compassion. 

By Nicole Urdang | April 21, 2022
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Believe it or not, self-pity can be the first step toward self-compassion. Most of us learned that self-pity was to be avoided at all costs. It was narcissistic, self indulgent, and shameful. Clearly, anyone worth their salt  would not wallow in self-pity and, if they did, they would never admit it. Recently, I’ve been reframing the […]

What makes it so hard to truly befriend yourself?

By Nicole Urdang | March 17, 2022
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We are born helpless and incapable of living without other people’s assistance. We depend on caretakers, usually parents, to take care of us so that we can develop into adults able to live interdependently with others. This is just a fact. And from what we know of history, it’s been true since time immemorial. As […]

What is compassionate curiosity and how can it help you?

By Nicole Urdang | January 19, 2022
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Compassionate curiosity is the magic combination of self-compassion and curiosity. What makes it magical is its ability to help you embrace internal and external challenges with an open heart and mind. Typically, when something difficult appears, whether it’s internal, like obsessive thoughts, a physical ailment, or an emotional state; or external, like a financial setback, […]

Create an emotional inventory to retrain your brain.

By Nicole Urdang | July 28, 2021
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Have you ever tracked your steps with a Fitbit or other app? If so, you became aware of something you might have been taking for granted. In a similar way, the emotion or mood tracker I propose helps you increase your awareness and appreciation for the variety of emotions you can have in a day, […]

Your body is a portal to essential knowledge.

By Nicole Urdang | March 13, 2021
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Your body is your ever present home on earth and houses a wealth of information you can tap into anytime. Yet no one teaches you how to use this innate somatic knowledge. The field of psychotherapy, especially trauma therapy, is In the midst of a mini revolution as somatic awareness is now recognized as a […]