Relationships

How To Improve Your Relationships By Asking Good Questions.

By Nicole Urdang | July 27, 2022
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If you want to improve your relationships learn to ask good questions. Frankly, if you want to improve your life learn to ask good questions. While research shows that we get a hit of dopamine every time we talk about ourselves, there are hidden benefits to learning more about others. Not the least of which […]

What’s the difference between acceptance and letting go? 

By Nicole Urdang | May 31, 2022
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While both acceptance and letting go are verbs, there is a qualitative difference between them. Acceptance feels more like allowing or surrendering, and letting go seems to be a more active process. Depending on your history and personality, one may seem easier than the other. It’s interesting to play with your reactions to these different […]

Antidotes for five words that create stress and ruin relationships.

By Nicole Urdang | May 6, 2022
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Many years ago, when I studied with Dr. Albert Ellis, I learned the five words that create stress, dissatisfaction, and ruined relationships. They are: NEED, MUST, SHOULDN’T, SHOULD and CAN’T. These five words are like mental handcuffs. They keep you from feeling free, creatively exploring life, and, most of all, living with self-compassion. They create […]

It goes without saying. No, it doesn’t.

By Nicole Urdang | February 6, 2022
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So often, people say: It goes without saying. It’s usually used when someone is saying something kind, complimentary or loving. What a crazy notion, that saying something beautiful and supportive could be unnecessary. What a shame that phrase even exists.  What could go without saying are so many of the negative things we utter or […]

Feeling resentful? Perhaps, you’re compromising too much.

By Nicole Urdang | January 24, 2022
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In a yoga-inspired course on the chakras, teacher Davidji said of the fourth, or throat, chakra: “Throughout the day when you find yourself making compromises out of fear, out of playing small, out of not believing in yourself, remind yourself that the vibration ‘hum’ is the vibration of permission. Whether you say it silently or […]

How To Have The Courage To Leave Any Relationship or Situation That Isn’t Serving You.

By Nicole Urdang | December 2, 2021
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You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em. Kenny Rogers   A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. Ralph Waldo Emerson     Historically, therapists and clergy have extolled the virtues of working through relationship difficulties. While it’s optimistic and great to think you can work through most […]