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Holistic Divorce Counseling

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Welcome to Holistic Divorce Counseling

Holistic Psychotherapist Nicole S. Urdang, MS, NCC, DHM, LMHC.

The purpose of Holistic Divorce Counseling is to provide support, resources, and comfort for all life’s issues and transitions, not just the cosmic hazing of divorce.

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What’s the difference between acceptance and letting go? 

By Nicole Urdang | May 31, 2022
Posted in Life enhancers, Personal evolution, Relationships

While both acceptance and letting go are verbs, there is a qualitative difference between them. Acceptance feels more like allowing or surrendering, and letting go seems to be a more active process. Depending on your history and personality, one may seem easier than the other. It’s interesting to play with your reactions to these different […]

Antidotes for five words that create stress and ruin relationships.

By Nicole Urdang | May 6, 2022
Posted in Inner work, Relationships, Trauma

Many years ago, when I studied with Dr. Albert Ellis, I learned the five words that create stress, dissatisfaction, and ruined relationships. They are: NEED, MUST, SHOULDN’T, SHOULD and CAN’T. These five words are like mental handcuffs. They keep you from feeling free, creatively exploring life, and, most of all, living with self-compassion. They create […]

How self-pity can be the first step toward self-compassion. 

By Nicole Urdang | April 21, 2022
Posted in Personal evolution, Self-compassion, Trauma

Believe it or not, self-pity can be the first step toward self-compassion. Most of us learned that self-pity was to be avoided at all costs. It was narcissistic, self indulgent, and shameful. Clearly, anyone worth their salt  would not wallow in self-pity and, if they did, they would never admit it. Recently, I’ve been reframing the […]

How to slow down your monkey mind by activating the direct experience network in your brain.

By Nicole Urdang | April 2, 2022
Posted in Anxiety, Holistic tools, Overwhelm

Neuroscientist Dr. Karolien Notebaert has a wonderful talk on the Insight Timer app that beautifully describes the difference between the default mode network (DMN) and the direct experience network (DEN). You can find it here: https://insig.ht/tz48w6Rowob. In short, the default mode network shows up when the brain is not engaged in a task. It roams through […]

What makes it so hard to truly befriend yourself?

By Nicole Urdang | March 17, 2022
Posted in Anxiety, Inner work, Self-compassion

We are born helpless and incapable of living without other people’s assistance. We depend on caretakers, usually parents, to take care of us so that we can develop into adults able to live interdependently with others. This is just a fact. And from what we know of history, it’s been true since time immemorial. As […]

It goes without saying. No, it doesn’t.

By Nicole Urdang | February 6, 2022
Posted in Relationships

So often, people say: It goes without saying. It’s usually used when someone is saying something kind, complimentary or loving. What a crazy notion, that saying something beautiful and supportive could be unnecessary. What a shame that phrase even exists.  What could go without saying are so many of the negative things we utter or […]

Feeling resentful? Perhaps, you’re compromising too much.

By Nicole Urdang | January 24, 2022
Posted in Boundaries, Personal evolution, Relationships

In a yoga-inspired course on the chakras, teacher Davidji said of the fourth, or throat, chakra: “Throughout the day when you find yourself making compromises out of fear, out of playing small, out of not believing in yourself, remind yourself that the vibration ‘hum’ is the vibration of permission. Whether you say it silently or […]

What is compassionate curiosity and how can it help you?

By Nicole Urdang | January 19, 2022
Posted in Inner work, Self-compassion, Trauma

Compassionate curiosity is the magic combination of self-compassion and curiosity. What makes it magical is its ability to help you embrace internal and external challenges with an open heart and mind. Typically, when something difficult appears, whether it’s internal, like obsessive thoughts, a physical ailment, or an emotional state; or external, like a financial setback, […]

How To Have The Courage To Leave Any Relationship or Situation That Isn’t Serving You.

By Nicole Urdang | December 2, 2021
Posted in Divorce, Relationships

You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em. Kenny Rogers   A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. Ralph Waldo Emerson     Historically, therapists and clergy have extolled the virtues of working through relationship difficulties. While it’s optimistic and great to think you can work through most […]

What do OCD, addiction and self-discipline have in common?

By Nicole Urdang | September 16, 2021
Posted in Addiction/OCD

What do OCD, addiction and self-discipline have in common? They all involve some form of repetition compulsion. At first glance, it looks as if self-discipline involves using self-control to benefit oneself while addictions and other OCD behaviors look as if someone is out of control. But, as you will see, the essence of all three […]

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Nicole Urdang

Nicole UrdangNicole S. Urdang, M.S., NCC, DHM is a Holistic Psychotherapist in Buffalo, NY. She holds a New York state license in mental health counseling and a doctorate in homeopathic medicine from the British Institute of Homeopathy.

As an Associate Fellow at the Albert Ellis Institute Nicole trained with the founder of Rational-Emotive Behavior Therapy for over 25 years.

Nicole has studied psychology, philosophy, yoga, nutrition, clinical hypnosis, journaling, dream analysis, Cognitive-Behavior Therapy, Gestalt Therapy, Sexuality and Gender Issues at the Kinsey Institute, Inner Child work, Internal Family Systems, Bach Flower Essences, herbs, Tapping (EFT), homeopathy, meditation, Sanskrit mantras, and yogic breath work all of which inform her holistic approach to mind-body issues.

In the early 1980s she created and hosted one of the country’s first call-in radio counseling shows on WKBW.

If you live outside the greater Buffalo-Niagara area and would like to speak with Nicole, you can schedule a phone session. Contact information is available on goodtherapy.org or just call 716-882-0848.

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