Adult Children’s Revelations After Divorce

By Nicole Urdang | September 23, 2015
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Oh! What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive. Sir Walter Scott As time moves on from your divorce you can be sure of one thing: There will always be new revelations from your children. At times, they will rock your world and make you question your own memories. Whatever they […]

The Gift of Disillusion

By Nicole Urdang | June 30, 2009
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I want to talk to you about the gift of disillusion and its ultimate reward: accepting life on life’s terms. Clinging to illusions starts early. We all want to believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and magic.  They soothe and bolster our spirits. Of course, we are loath to relinquish them. Even as adults, […]

Betrayal: When Your Ex Gets Your Children to Lie To You

By Nicole Urdang | January 15, 2009
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There is little compelling literature on the effects of divorce on adult children, though you can be sure there are consequences.  Judith Wallerstein’s bleak statistics notwithstanding, no one really knows what’s better for children: staying in a disturbed household with unhappy parents or dealing with the chaos of divorce.  Naturally, things are different if the […]

Betrayal As A Path To Personal Evolution and Growth

By Nicole Urdang | January 5, 2009
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No matter how old you are there is still a little child inside you.  He or she craves truth and fairness.  Who hasn’t heard the lament “That’s not fair!” yelled in a playground or schoolroom?  Craving truth seems to be innate.  That’s why betrayal, whose coin of the realm is lying, goes against our grain […]

Betrayal: Understanding It and Starting To Heal

By Nicole Urdang | December 13, 2008
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The greater the love and loyalty, the involvement and commitment, the greater the betrayal. James Hillman Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive. Sir Walter Scott Secrets, lies, cheating.  They’re all forms of betrayal, and they all destroy trust. As a therapist I have seen my share of emotional […]