Worrying is not mental health insurance

By Nicole Urdang | March 16, 2024
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Just the way insurance on your home does not prevent you from floods, fires, or other catastrophes, worrying is not insurance against future emotional challenges. Yet, strange as it may sound, both anxiety and worry often come from an unconscious part of you that thinks otherwise. It believes that with enough planning, rehearsing and imagining, […]

Feeling weak as a kitten doesn’t mean you are weak as a kitten.

By Nicole Urdang | January 23, 2024
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Sometimes, problems seem insurmountable and life feels overwhelming. Those are exactly the times to remember how resilient you are. Thankfully, a feeling is not a fact. It’s just an emotion. When too many things assail you at once, it’s easy to forget how resilient and capable you are. If you doubt that, just make a […]

Me or thee practice for codependents, over-givers, perfectionists, and do-gooders.

By Nicole Urdang | May 9, 2023
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  Lend yourself to others but give yourself to yourself. Michel de Montaigne   Since the title of this piece was long enough already, I resisted adding how helpful this tactic is for people with TMS (tension myositis syndrome), neuroplastic pain, or mind-body issues. The Me or Thee practice is, as the Chinese might say: […]

Five things that fuel feeling overwhelmed. 

By Nicole Urdang | August 25, 2022
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Almost everyone feels overwhelmed sometimes. All it takes is a few extra stresses on top of our normal responsibilities and it’s easy to get tense, reactive, and overwhelmed. Since we can’t control all the variables in our life, the best thing we can do is not fuel the flames when we feel burdened, emotionally raw, […]

How to slow down your monkey mind by activating the direct experience network in your brain.

By Nicole Urdang | April 2, 2022
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Neuroscientist Dr. Karolien Notebaert has a wonderful talk on the Insight Timer app that beautifully describes the difference between the default mode network (DMN) and the direct experience network (DEN). You can find it here: https://insig.ht/tz48w6Rowob. In short, the default mode network shows up when the brain is not engaged in a task. It roams through […]

Cultivate Curiosity for Clarity, Calm & Perspective.

By Nicole Urdang | January 11, 2021
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  One inescapable truth is things will not always go your way. Your landlord suddenly raises the rent, you lose your job, your body acts out with a strange new symptom, your child’s teacher asks for a meeting, the roof leaks, the car dies, you get the idea. No one singled you out for extra […]