Me or thee practice for codependents, over-givers, perfectionists, and do-gooders.

By Nicole Urdang | May 9, 2023
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  Lend yourself to others but give yourself to yourself. Michel de Montaigne   Since the title of this piece was long enough already, I resisted adding how helpful this tactic is for people with TMS (tension myositis syndrome), neuroplastic pain, or mind-body issues. The Me or Thee practice is, as the Chinese might say: […]

Five things that fuel feeling overwhelmed. 

By Nicole Urdang | August 25, 2022
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Almost everyone feels overwhelmed sometimes. All it takes is a few extra stresses on top of our normal responsibilities and it’s easy to get tense, reactive, and overwhelmed. Since we can’t control all the variables in our life, the best thing we can do is not fuel the flames when we feel burdened, emotionally raw, […]

How to slow down your monkey mind by activating the direct experience network in your brain.

By Nicole Urdang | April 2, 2022
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Neuroscientist Dr. Karolien Notebaert has a wonderful talk on the Insight Timer app that beautifully describes the difference between the default mode network (DMN) and the direct experience network (DEN). You can find it here: https://insig.ht/tz48w6Rowob. In short, the default mode network shows up when the brain is not engaged in a task. It roams through […]

Cultivate Curiosity for Clarity, Calm & Perspective.

By Nicole Urdang | January 11, 2021
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  One inescapable truth is things will not always go your way. Your landlord suddenly raises the rent, you lose your job, your body acts out with a strange new symptom, your child’s teacher asks for a meeting, the roof leaks, the car dies, you get the idea. No one singled you out for extra […]

Don’t underestimate your ability to handle life’s challenges

By Nicole Urdang | October 12, 2016
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Anxiety, anger, or any other negative emotional reaction is often triggered by underestimating your ability to handle life’s challenges and overestimating the severity of a possible negative outcome. In the midst of a crisis or life transition it is all too easy to be thrown off course. Whatever sense of emotional terra firma you felt […]

Gaining A Foothold Amid Chaos

By Nicole Urdang | January 16, 2015
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“Pain is not punishment, pleasure is not a reward. Both are just natural occurrences. Kindness, kindness, kindness.” Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche to a bride and groom at their wedding. Sometimes, life can feel like a whirlpool and you are being dragged into the vortex of hell. Hell might be dissonance in a relationship, financial or physical […]