Trauma

Antidotes for five words that create stress and ruin relationships.

By Nicole Urdang | May 6, 2022
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Many years ago, when I studied with Dr. Albert Ellis, I learned the five words that create stress, dissatisfaction, and ruined relationships. They are: NEED, MUST, SHOULDN’T, SHOULD and CAN’T. These five words are like mental handcuffs. They keep you from feeling free, creatively exploring life, and, most of all, living with self-compassion. They create […]

How self-pity can be the first step toward self-compassion. 

By Nicole Urdang | April 21, 2022
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Believe it or not, self-pity can be the first step toward self-compassion. Most of us learned that self-pity was to be avoided at all costs. It was narcissistic, self indulgent, and shameful. Clearly, anyone worth their salt  would not wallow in self-pity and, if they did, they would never admit it. Recently, I’ve been reframing the […]

What is compassionate curiosity and how can it help you?

By Nicole Urdang | January 19, 2022
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Compassionate curiosity is the magic combination of self-compassion and curiosity. What makes it magical is its ability to help you embrace internal and external challenges with an open heart and mind. Typically, when something difficult appears, whether it’s internal, like obsessive thoughts, a physical ailment, or an emotional state; or external, like a financial setback, […]

Create an emotional inventory to retrain your brain.

By Nicole Urdang | July 28, 2021
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Have you ever tracked your steps with a Fitbit or other app? If so, you became aware of something you might have been taking for granted. In a similar way, the emotion or mood tracker I propose helps you increase your awareness and appreciation for the variety of emotions you can have in a day, […]

Your body is a portal to essential knowledge.

By Nicole Urdang | March 13, 2021
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Your body is your ever present home on earth and houses a wealth of information you can tap into anytime. Yet no one teaches you how to use this innate somatic knowledge. The field of psychotherapy, especially trauma therapy, is In the midst of a mini revolution as somatic awareness is now recognized as a […]

What is Bilateral Stimulation and How Can it Help You?

By Nicole Urdang | November 4, 2019
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Bilateral Stimulation (BLS) is nothing new. Yogis have been doing it through the meditative practice of Yoga Nidra for thousands of years. Qigong incorporates it into almost all their routines. Bilateral Stimulation refers to any activity that channels your attention from one brain hemisphere to the other. In EMDR this is typically done by tapping […]