Inner work

How could you possibly think you’re not enough?

By Nicole Urdang | May 2, 2024
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How could you possibly think you’re not enough?  Do you tell yourself you’re not: Attractive enough Smart enough Fit enough Rich enough Popular enough Successful enough Respected enough Interesting enough Funny enough Positive enough Good enough to be liked, loved, appreciated, and respected? You are a flesh and blood, breathing human being. How could that […]

Three skills to support you through life.

By Nicole Urdang | February 15, 2024
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Cultivating curiosity, creativity, and perseverance will see you through almost any challenging situation and enhance your life. Take a few minutes now to answer the following questions. When was the last time you felt curious about something?  When was the last time you acted or thought creatively? When was the last time you figured out […]

Feeling weak as a kitten doesn’t mean you are weak as a kitten.

By Nicole Urdang | January 23, 2024
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Sometimes, problems seem insurmountable and life feels overwhelming. Those are exactly the times to remember how resilient you are. Thankfully, a feeling is not a fact. It’s just an emotion. When too many things assail you at once, it’s easy to forget how resilient and capable you are. If you doubt that, just make a […]

Why do some people hate surprises?

By Nicole Urdang | November 2, 2023
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While there are plenty of people who think surprises are fun, there are many who find them disturbing.  As someone who has enjoyed some surprises in life and shunned others, I began to wonder what makes someone enjoy them or recoil from them. If you grew up in a family where there was a lot […]

Why you continue to reach for an empty glass to quench your emotional thirst.

By Nicole Urdang | September 1, 2023
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  When it comes to relationships, it’s all too easy to keep reaching for the same empty glass to quench one’s thirst—the primal thirst for relationships that offer understanding, connection, support, and comfort. This manifests in continuing to seek, from those incapable of giving it to you, the emotional succor you crave. It’s a fool’s […]

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

By Nicole Urdang | July 27, 2023
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A recurring theme in therapy is the Buddha’s second arrow. It refers to the fact that whatever is difficult or painful in life is exacerbated by the negative self-judgment we inflict on it. This is a crucial concept for separating pain from suffering. As the Buddha supposedly said: Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. There […]