Fall in Love With Yourself

To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.

Robert Morely

To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven. Don’t wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now.

Alan Cohen

You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve love and affection.


Yes! As radical as this sounds, by falling in love with yourself you can accomplish two major life tasks:

1. Change your harsh, critical inner dialogue to something loving, positive, and supportive; and,

2. Choose a potential partner wisely. Not out of desperation or longing for someone to complete you, but because you come to respect, cherish and enjoy them.

What happens when you fall in love?

Your world suddenly shifts completely to the other person. You pay them undivided attention, listen to what they want, and try to give it to them.

Your heart opens.

You want the best for them.

You become wildly generous in all ways.

You show patience, tolerance, and understanding.

You give them the benefit of the doubt.

You focus on their best qualities and ignore the rest.

You are affectionate, considerate, complimentary, and loving.

You crave their company.

You trust them.

You even like their quirky behaviors.

You support and encourage them.

You feel protective and have their back.

You forgive easily.

Now, imagine giving all those wonderful things to yourself.
Really imagine it.
Each and every one.
How does that feel?
If it’s fabulous, turn your reverie into action. Do everything you possibly can to show yourself tenderness, consideration, patience, and compassion.
Now, watch how your relationship with yourself changes.

Lest some of you think this is narcissistic, it is not. Falling in love with yourself doesn’t mean you think you’re better than anyone else, just equally deserving of kindness, compassion, and time. You realize how wonderfully healing it can be to appreciate and care for yourself. Paradoxically, the more lovingly you treat yourself, the more kindness, compassion, and patience you will have for others.

Copyright Nicole S. Urdang

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Nicole Urdang

Nicole S. Urdang, M.S., NCC, DHM is a Holistic Psychotherapist in Buffalo, NY. She holds a New York state license in mental health counseling and a doctorate in homeopathic medicine from the British Institute of Homeopathy.