Emotional First Aid

By Nicole Urdang | August 17, 2010
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Ten ways to handle bad news: 1. Breathe deeply and slowly. Use grounding techniques (see Grounding Techniques). 2. Remember: This will pass. 3. Don’t take it personally, no matter what happened. 4. Allow all your feelings; yes, all of them. 5. Have faith in yourself. You are more competent than you think right this moment. […]

Grounding Techniques To Calm Anxiety & Panic

By Nicole Urdang | April 22, 2009
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When overwhelmed by life, it is easy to feel as if you are walking on quicksand.  One manifestation of rootlessness is depersonalization, feeling separate from your body. It is often a result of post-traumatic stress, but can also be triggered by an abundance of current stress. This disjointed feeling can create a fair amount of […]

Crying 101: How To Maximize Its Benefits

By Nicole Urdang | January 1, 2009
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I recently came across some interesting research on how to enhance your crying jags.  If you are grief-stricken from a recent loss it helps to know how to maximize the benefits of weeping. William H. Frey II, a biochemist at the University of Minnesota, proposed that people feel better after crying due to the elimination […]

Feeling & Healing

By Nicole Urdang | December 21, 2008
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If you’re feeling you’re healing.  Conversely, if you’re not feeling you’re not healing.  I know I constantly harp on this, but only because it is so important.  Making it safe to feel your feelings will get you through all the emotional detritus surrounding divorce, or any other life transition.  In addition, by moving through your […]


By Nicole Urdang | October 19, 2008
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  You can’t avoid triggers.  They’re everywhere.  The longer you were coupled, the more you have.  Some days, it might seem as if everything is a trigger.  If you were together for decades, that’s likely.  You literally shared millions of moments.  Deepak Chopra used to say that couples shared sub-atomic particles by being so physically […]