Trauma

How Abandonment Issues Affect Intimate Relationships

By Nicole Urdang | August 25, 2015
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“Finally, I decide I am my own case history, and if I don’t dig in to understand what I am doing, I will be spending the years ahead in a vexing pattern of intimacy and abandonment.” Dominique Browning in “Slow Love” Dig in is right. Dig in and root around is even more accurate. Of […]

Addiction Recovery: Techniques for Staying Sober

By Nicole Urdang | April 9, 2013
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All addictions, like all obsessive-compulsive disorders, serve one purpose: To push unpleasant feelings out of your conscious awareness. It makes no difference if you are addicted to alcohol, shopping, pornography, pain killers, pot, food, cocaine, gambling, or anything else, the key to recovery is finding peace. Peace from incessant thoughts urging you to obsessively repeat […]

Self-Compassion: Cultivating Deep Kindness for Yourself

By Nicole Urdang | August 29, 2012
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These days it seems as if every website, book, and podcast is encouraging self-compassion as a path to inner freedom and peace. And rightly so. Showering yourself with loving kindness will surely make you feel better, no matter what’s ailing your body, mind, or spirit. The problem is, how exactly do you do it? While […]

Emotional First Aid

By Nicole Urdang | August 17, 2010
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Ten ways to handle bad news: 1. Breathe deeply and slowly. Use grounding techniques (see Grounding Techniques). 2. Remember: This will pass. 3. Don’t take it personally, no matter what happened. 4. Allow all your feelings; yes, all of them. 5. Have faith in yourself. You are more competent than you think right this moment. […]

Grounding Techniques To Calm Anxiety & Panic

By Nicole Urdang | April 22, 2009
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When overwhelmed by life, it is easy to feel as if you are walking on quicksand.  One manifestation of rootlessness is depersonalization, feeling separate from your body. It is often a result of post-traumatic stress, but can also be triggered by an abundance of current stress. This disjointed feeling can create a fair amount of […]

Crying 101: How To Maximize Its Benefits

By Nicole Urdang | January 1, 2009
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I recently came across some interesting research on how to enhance your crying jags.  If you are grief-stricken from a recent loss it helps to know how to maximize the benefits of weeping. William H. Frey II, a biochemist at the University of Minnesota, proposed that people feel better after crying due to the elimination […]