Betrayal: Understanding It and Starting To Heal

By Nicole Urdang | December 13, 2008
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The greater the love and loyalty, the involvement and commitment, the greater the betrayal. James Hillman Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive. Sir Walter Scott Secrets, lies, cheating.  They’re all forms of betrayal, and they all destroy trust. As a therapist I have seen my share of emotional […]

Emotional vs. Physical Abuse

By Nicole Urdang | November 15, 2008
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We have a two-tired system for the treatment of emotional and physical abuse.  If someone beats you up everyone is sympathetic and rushes to your side.  On the other hand, if someone emotionally abuses you people steer clear. They may even suggest you put it behind you, forget about it, get over it, or forgive […]

The Road To Hell…

By Nicole Urdang | November 2, 2008
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  The road to hell is paved with good intentions.  Whenever you are going through something particularly taxing, you can be sure everyone will have an opinion.  And, they have to share it.  People come from all sorts of emotional and psychological places, so remember to take what they say with a pound of salt. […]

4 Quick Ways to Keep Conflicts from Escalating

By Nicole Urdang | October 22, 2008
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Have you ever noticed how threatened you can feel when someone doesn’t agree with you?  Over-identification with your thoughts is the culprit. Believing you are your opinions when, in reality, you are far more. Why is it so crucial for our intimates agree with us?  Is it all ego?  Must we prove we’re right to […]

Phantom Marriage Syndrome: Lingering Effects of Divorce

By Nicole Urdang | October 13, 2008
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Love’s not a faucet you can turn off because suddenly the water is polluted.  Intellectually, especially after betrayal,  you may seek a separation or divorce; but, emotionally, you’re still connected.  It’s like phantom limb syndrome.  The leg was gangrenous, but it’s hard to see it go.  Then, for months or years, you have phantom limb […]

Anger, Aggression, Passivity, and Passive-Aggressiveness

By Nicole Urdang | October 10, 2008
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All anger comes from demands we make of ourself or others.  Think back to the last time you were irate.  Was it because something didn’t go your way?  Did someone behave badly towards you?  Did you do something you thought you shouldn’t?  Perhaps, some injustice occurred on a national level.  In each situation your demanding […]