Phantom Marriage Syndrome: Lingering Effects of Divorce

By Nicole Urdang | October 13, 2008
Posted in ,

Love’s not a faucet you can turn off because suddenly the water is polluted.  Intellectually, especially after betrayal,  you may seek a separation or divorce; but, emotionally, you’re still connected.  It’s like phantom limb syndrome.  The leg was gangrenous, but it’s hard to see it go.  Then, for months or years, you have phantom limb […]

Anger, Aggression, Passivity, and Passive-Aggressiveness

By Nicole Urdang | October 10, 2008
Posted in ,

All anger comes from demands we make of ourself or others.  Think back to the last time you were irate.  Was it because something didn’t go your way?  Did someone behave badly towards you?  Did you do something you thought you shouldn’t?  Perhaps, some injustice occurred on a national level.  In each situation your demanding […]

Open Your Heart

By Nicole Urdang | October 7, 2008
Posted in ,

  In yoga, it is common to practice “heart-opening poses.”  These are often backbends that open the heart chakra (there are seven chakras, or energy centers, running up the spine). You might think, “My heart is hurting enough, thank you very much. Why would I want to open it up more?” Not for pain, but […]

Scripting: A New Tool To Help You Avoid Conflict

By Nicole Urdang | October 3, 2008
Posted in

I created a simple tool that helps people avoid conflict and enjoy more harmonious relationships.  I call it “Scripting” because you actually ask the other person to say exactly what you want to hear in a given situation.  Obviously, you wouldn’t want to employ this technique all the time, but it is an excellent remedy […]

Guilt: The Useless Emotion

By Nicole Urdang | October 1, 2008
Posted in ,

Guilt is actually worse than useless, as it fosters bad feelings towards yourself and others. It’s easy to think that guilt motivates you to do better in the future, but that’s not actually what happens. Guilt leads to resentment of the person you might have wronged. Here’s how it works: if they didn’t exist you […]