Compromise or Cooperate?

By Nicole Urdang | January 26, 2010
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The healing powers of compromise are often touted by counselors and psychologists as a balm to relationships. The sad truth is, whenever you compromise you aren’t getting what you want, because you are delaying your gratification in favor of “acting like an adult,” and putting your relationship before your current desires. That would be OK […]


By Nicole Urdang | January 17, 2010
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If you are dating after a long hiatus you may want to view the following videos for some amusing—and helpful—hints on how to kiss.

Children: Collateral Damage to Adult Children Of Divorced Parents

By Nicole Urdang | December 27, 2009
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Recently, I saw Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin’s new movie, “It’s Complicated.”  Most of the time, I  was laughing uncontrollably.  I can’t even remember when I last laughed that hard. The hilarity stopped abruptly when, near the end, I saw the looks on their adult children’s faces. Each one a kaleidoscope of bewilderment, pain, and […]

Reaching Out During Times of Stress, Divorce, or Grief

By Nicole Urdang | September 11, 2009
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Whether you have been good at asking for help in the past, or not, now is the time to reach out.  When you experience a loss through death, the dissolution of a relationship, or transformation, grief engenders two primal desires.  One seeks solitude to nurse the wounds, while the other asks for company, someone to […]

Fearless Open-Heartedness: Risks and Rewards

By Nicole Urdang | September 2, 2009
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Yes, you’re right.  If you open your heart you risk getting hurt.  But, what’s the alternative?  A life devoid of love and passion?  How alluring is that?  The illusion of safety may be appealing, but over-protection usually leads to isolation.  Is there a way to shield yourself and still be receptive?  Not that I know […]

How to Handle: “Get over it already.”

By Nicole Urdang | July 23, 2009
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There seems to be a prevailing philosophy that all grief should disappear in a short time.  Its mantra, “Get over it already,” is uttered incessantly, whether you just broke-up, lost a job, had an accident, or buried a loved one. What’s the rush, and whose healing schedule are you on? Surely, not theirs. Grief work […]