Relationships

Compare to Despair or Cultivate Self-Acceptance

By Nicole Urdang | January 5, 2016
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Comparison is the death of joy. Mark Twain If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back. Regina Brett If you look at the symbol commonly used to show Yin and Yang you will notice each of the larger shapes has a small circle of the opposite […]

Change your words, change your relationships

By Nicole Urdang | November 17, 2015
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“There exists, for everyone, a sentence – a series of words – that has the power to destroy you. Another sentence exists, another series of words, that could heal you. If you’re lucky you will get the second, but you can be certain of getting the first.” Philip K. Dick, VALIS “Words! What power they […]

How Abandonment Issues Affect Intimate Relationships

By Nicole Urdang | August 25, 2015
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“Finally, I decide I am my own case history, and if I don’t dig in to understand what I am doing, I will be spending the years ahead in a vexing pattern of intimacy and abandonment.” Dominique Browning in “Slow Love” Dig in is right. Dig in and root around is even more accurate. Of […]

Ditch Your Assumptions and Create More Fulfilling Relationships

By Nicole Urdang | June 5, 2015
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“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in.” Isaac Asimov “If others tell us something we make assumptions, and if they don’t tell us something we make assumptions to fulfill our need to know and to replace the need to communicate. […]

Effects of Abandonment on Adult Relationships: Ambivalence and Attachment Issues

By Nicole Urdang | August 11, 2014
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There must be something in the human brain that makes it enjoy playing with different, often opposite, ideas simultaneously. Ambivalence is incredibly helpful when we are brainstorming or problem-solving, less so when assessing the value of relationships. Fortunately, this natural proclivity to complicate our lives is beneficial. Unfortunately, it can also be time consuming and […]

Bullying and Passive-Aggressive Behavior: How To Deal With It

By Nicole Urdang | July 3, 2014
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Passive-aggressive behavior is a defense mechanism that allows people who aren’t comfortable being openly aggressive to get what they want under the guise of still trying to please others. They want their way, but they also want everyone to still like them. Urban Dictionary Passive-aggressive behavior is the indirect expression of hostility, such as through […]