Relationships

A Quick Practice to Help You Develop Compassion for Yourself and Others

By Nicole Urdang | June 21, 2018
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Sometimes, the easiest way for us to see where we are hard on ourselves is to notice how harshly we react to other people’s behavior. Here’s a quick way to shift your perspective while developing more self-compassion. When someone behaves in a way you don’t like or understand try saying this to yourself: Just like […]

What Is Fluid Intimacy and How Can You Achieve It?

By Nicole Urdang | April 17, 2018
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What is fluid? Something that flows easily without much obstruction. Just as we want fluidity from the water in our faucets we also want it in our relationships, especially intimate ones. Intimacy implies a closeness beyond familiarity and generic caring. It’s when you know someone really well, you have shared a multitude of different experiences […]

Three tips for handling people who put you on the defensive

By Nicole Urdang | November 29, 2017
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Yesterday, I had an experience I’ve had many times in the course of my career. Someone said, “I wish you could be with me in situations when I don’t know what to say, get completely flustered, and end up down the rabbit hole of a conversation that is either difficult, contentious, or unproductive.” Spurred on […]

Dare to disappoint everyone including yourself

By Nicole Urdang | March 14, 2016
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Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor. Anne Lamott Ring the bells that still can ring Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything, That’s how the light gets in. Leonard Cohen (Inspired by Emerson’s quote: There is a crack in everything God has made.) The full title for this article is “Dare […]

Compare to Despair or Cultivate Self-Acceptance

By Nicole Urdang | January 5, 2016
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Comparison is the death of joy. Mark Twain If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back. Regina Brett If you look at the symbol commonly used to show Yin and Yang you will notice each of the larger shapes has a small circle of the opposite […]

Change your words, change your relationships

By Nicole Urdang | November 17, 2015
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“There exists, for everyone, a sentence – a series of words – that has the power to destroy you. Another sentence exists, another series of words, that could heal you. If you’re lucky you will get the second, but you can be certain of getting the first.” Philip K. Dick, VALIS “Words! What power they […]