Inner work

Self-Soothing

By Nicole Urdang | February 18, 2014
Posted in ,

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Haruki Murakami If you grew up in a family where there was little nurturing, or unpredictable nurturing, especially during the first 18 months of life, you may have a difficult time self-soothing. Alternatively, if you were lucky enough to have had parents, or any caregiver, who was adept at […]

Tame the Blame and Shame To Encourage Positive Growth & Change

By Nicole Urdang | December 3, 2013
Posted in ,

Whether we talk of warring nations or wounded spouses, the one thing that maintains antagonism and distance is the tendency to blame and shame. To make matters worse, continuous fault-finding often leads to holding a grudge which can turn into damning the other so vehemently the chances for reconciliation become slim. So, why do we […]

Things I Keep From Myself

By Nicole Urdang | June 18, 2013
Posted in

“To regret one’s own experiences is to arrest one’s own development. To deny one’s own experiences is to put a lie into the lips of one’s own life. It is no less than a denial of the soul.” Oscar Wilde, De Profundis “And that is how we are. By strength of will we cut off […]

Personal evolution

By Nicole Urdang | May 2, 2013
Posted in

“…may my mind stroll about hungry and fearless and thirsty and supple…may my heart always be open” e.e. cummings It’s not a revolution, it’s an evolution. I think it’s personal evolution that will bring about planetary evolution. So that’s what I’m focusing on. Woody Harrelson Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of […]

There Is No One Right Way To Live

By Nicole Urdang | May 2, 2013
Posted in

“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” Friedrich Nietzsche There is no one right way to live. There is only your way in this moment. Whether you are experiencing abject misery, overwhelming joy, or numbness, this is your […]

Secrets: What we reveal can heal.

By Nicole Urdang | January 21, 2013
Posted in , ,

“Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.” Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard’s Almanack “What you didn’t tell someone was just as debilitating as what you did.” Jodi Picoult, Handle With Care “Nothing weighs on us so heavily as a secret.” Jean de La Fontaine “If I only had three words of advice, […]