Inner work

What is compassionate curiosity and how can it help you?

By Nicole Urdang | January 19, 2022
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Compassionate curiosity is the magic combination of self-compassion and curiosity. What makes it magical is its ability to help you embrace internal and external challenges with an open heart and mind. Typically, when something difficult appears, whether it’s internal, like obsessive thoughts, a physical ailment, or an emotional state; or external, like a financial setback, […]

The Struggle of Perfectionism

By Nicole Urdang | March 3, 2021
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Doing things well is satisfying, but perfectionism can turn almost anything into a struggle. Every time you strive to be perfect, the best, or better than you were before, you put pressure on yourself. Not only does that pressure accrue, it robs you of joy. In addition, it’s almost impossible to be mindful and live […]

The Myth of Being Stuck in a Rut: Your Inner Work is Not Always Conscious

By Nicole Urdang | June 6, 2020
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When the unconscious knows you are ready it will speak to you. Rick Hanson You are conscious every moment of your waking life, unless you’re in a coma or anesthetized. Because you’re aware of your analytical mind, it’s easy to think any psychological changes have to be achieved by conscious work. Thankfully, that is not […]

Less pain, more joy.

By Nicole Urdang | January 23, 2020
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Detaching from what causes you pain and attaching to what brings you joy sounds incredibly straightforward and almost absurd to write about, yet for most people it’s amazingly difficult. First of all, one must do a fairly fearless inventory to discern what actually brings you joy in the first place and what causes pain. This […]

What is Spiritual Bypassing and how you can overcome it.

By Nicole Urdang | March 24, 2019
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There is an unfortunate trend in many self-help podcasts, books and YouTube videos that encourages you to let go, accept and forgive through the use of affirmations. Letting go, even accepting and forgiving, is wonderful as long as you’re emotionally ready. Spiritual bypassing comes when you force yourself to resolve something even though you’re still […]

Masquerading Emotions: What your feelings are really telling you.

By Nicole Urdang | December 20, 2018
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What are your emotions really telling you? Clearly when you feel happy, elated or joyful your emotions are saying: “More please!” It doesn’t take a psychological sleuth to know what to do when you feel good; however, it does take a bit of digging to figure out what’s underneath the darker and more complex emotions. […]