Sex With Your Soon-To-Be-Ex

By Nicole Urdang | October 13, 2008
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  Only you can gauge if sex with your soon-to-be-ex is a good idea. In the short term it may feel wonderful; after all, you may have enjoyed a happy sexual relationship. It’s natural to want some physical affection and attention during this draught, and divorce is fodder for insecurities. What better way to quell those […]

Phantom Marriage Syndrome: Lingering Effects of Divorce

By Nicole Urdang | October 13, 2008
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Love’s not a faucet you can turn off because suddenly the water is polluted.  Intellectually, especially after betrayal,  you may seek a separation or divorce; but, emotionally, you’re still connected.  It’s like phantom limb syndrome.  The leg was gangrenous, but it’s hard to see it go.  Then, for months or years, you have phantom limb […]

Addiction and Divorce, What Helps?

By Nicole Urdang | October 6, 2008
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We are a society of addicts.  Alcohol, drugs, gambling, shopping, TV, food, iPhones, music, pornography, exercise…you name it and we can find a way to abuse it.   Why the rampant epidemic of OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder)?  To dull our pain.  All addictions achieve the same goal: they push those things we find threatening out of our […]


By Nicole Urdang | October 3, 2008
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  Grief is the most protean of emotions, constantly shifting from one feeling to another.  One minute you’re depressed, the next you’re angry.  Later you find yourself bargaining with life, and then you’re in the ozone of denial.  Acceptance comes, but only after you’ve faced your demons.   The thing to remember about grief is […]

Quotes To Live By & Learn From

By Nicole Urdang | September 24, 2008
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NOTE: While the date of this post is 2008, it is regularly updated. Newer quotes are added to the bottom of the page. I’m a quote-a-holic.  I believe in the power of words to reshape thoughts, thereby changing our feelings and perceptions.  Here are some of my favorites. What the caterpillar calls the end of […]

Losing Friends After A Divorce

By Nicole Urdang | September 18, 2008
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We can speculate as to why people drop you when you’re going through a divorce–they’re threatened, they liked your spouse better, they don’t have the energy to support you on your emotional roller coaster–but the reasons are really immaterial.  The bottom line is some people will abandon you in your greatest time of need.  This […]