Post-Divorce Relationships With Adult Children

By Nicole Urdang | August 22, 2009
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    It is wise to remember that the prefrontal cortex, where most higher level thinking takes place, isn’t fully developed until the mid-late twenties. Therefore, young adults, even those with jobs, relationships, and kids of their own are very likely to make foolish decisions. They may side with one parent (typically, the one whose […]

How to Handle: “Get over it already.”

By Nicole Urdang | July 23, 2009
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There seems to be a prevailing philosophy that all grief should disappear in a short time.  Its mantra, “Get over it already,” is uttered incessantly, whether you just broke-up, lost a job, had an accident, or buried a loved one. What’s the rush, and whose healing schedule are you on? Surely, not theirs. Grief work […]

From “We” To “I”

By Nicole Urdang | June 6, 2009
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A subtle, but pervasive, aspect of divorce is the way your pronouns change: “we” becomes “I,” “our” becomes “mine,” and “us” becomes “me.” This may sound like a small grammatical dot on the horizon of your life, but it infiltrates many perceptions, like ownership, identity, and your newly single state. Every time you switch from […]

Poems To Help You Cope With Life, Loss & Divorce

By Nicole Urdang | June 4, 2009
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The library of congress has a treasure trove of poems for any mood. You can find their offerings here: https://www.loc.gov/programs/poetry-and-literature/poet-laureate/poet-laureate-projects/poetry-180/all-poems/item/poetry-180-148/happiness/?loclr=lsp1_rg0001 Here are some of my favorites:   Love After Love The time will come when, with elation you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror and each will smile at […]

Deconstructing Divorce: Understanding What Happened

By Nicole Urdang | March 8, 2009
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It’s natural to try to make sense of things.  As time passes your perspective on your relationship will shift like quicksand.  One day you may look at the past through rose colored lenses and the next as if through a black veil.  It’s all OK.   No doubt, years from now, your view will be […]


By Nicole Urdang | January 19, 2009
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  Hillary Rodham Clinton once said, “It takes a village to raise a child.”   Abigail Trafford claims “It takes two to get married, but you get divorced by yourself.”   I believe it takes a village to get divorced.     Here’s my list of the supporting cast necessary to help you through divorce, […]